Fear is not an excuse

This past week I've been watching One Tree Hill Season 5. One Tree Hill is by far one of my favourite television shows. If you've never watched it before, give it a chance, it won't disappoint!

Watching this season has inspired me. The characters have aged dramatically since last time we saw them and have matured accordingly. They are now at a stage in their lives that match mine. They are post university, they've spent the past five or so years working hard to get somewhere, and now that they've finished, they look around and wonder 'How did this happen? How did I end up here? Where is here?'

These are questions I ask myself almost daily. I only have four exams to sit and then my university education is complete (providing I pass all four courses). While this is exciting, mostly this just terrifies me. What do I do now? I guess now I have to suck it up and head into the 'grown-up' world. Some friends I know have been skirting around that world for a while now. "Real" jobs, "real" relationships, "real" houses, hell even "real" babies. Sometimes I wonder if I am ready for all that "real". Often I am convinced that I am most certainly NOT ready at all. Sometimes I figure I'll just fake it 'til I make it. But surely the real grown-ups will be able to see that I'm faking. Right?

Then there are other times, like when watching One Tree Hill, that I realise that no one is ever ready. Anyone who says they are, are faking it. And that's okay. Sometimes we all need to put on that mask, just to get through the day. You know the one. The one that says 'I'm a well educated young woman with the world at her feet who can do anything, and everything'. So why wouldn't you want to hire/friend/date her?

Maybe it's not so much that we are lying to ourselves. Maybe we are simply trying to remind ourselves of just how great we can be.

Maybe that's all the real world is - scared little kids putting on a brave face every morning, hoping that no one will notice when that mask slips just a little bit.

I've realised that just being scared, is not reason enough to not go after something you want. Fear is not an excuse. Fear should be what makes you try even harder.

What those Tree Hill kids have to get them through is friends that become family. The people around you who are their to help clean up the mess when that mask does eventually fall. And when it does it'll be okay, because your friends and family don't love that mask, they love the person beneath it. Insecurities and all.

So here's to Fear and friends and family. And to never again believing for even a second, that what's beneath the mask isn't good enough.

People always leave, but sometimes they come back

Wow, university has been full-on! I've been super busy, but in a good way.

Lately my weekends have consisted of homework and household chores. Riveting read for the blogoshpere I'm sure.

For instance, my plans for today (Sunday): killing some assignments while starting a One Tree Hill marathon.

One Tree Hill is by far one of my favourite television shows. though I must admit, I haven't seen any of season five onwards. I just wasn't into the post-Tree Hill High days. However, news that one of my favourite characters (Chris Keller) will be returning for the final season has lead me to decide to catch up.

Also, planning to see Jane Eyre on Tuesday night with Christina. That book was my absolute favourite as a 12 year old. Yet for some reason I do not have my own copy (?!). Will need to rectify that soon. Christina however has not read it, so she's trusting my advice - it is amazing. Hopefully the film will live up to my adoration for the novel (although with Michael Fassbender as Mr Rochester, how can it not?).

So today we've learned:

• a lot about some of my favourite things
• that i have a slight obsession with parentheses

Finally, I leave you with a snap of other one of my favourites - my favourite shelf/cube on my bookshelf. It has elephants and wineglass jewellery holders and Doctor Who. Clearly it is awesome..